Book of the month: “To be, not to seem. Reflections on True Success “by Stephen Covey

How to jump out of the routine and start following your destiny? How to drop small tasks and finally tackle big and ambitious goals? How does being honest with yourself help you build relationships with others? What is true success and how can you live a meaningful life? In the heading Book of the Month “- the book by Stephen Covey” To be, not to seem… The most interesting and close to us quotes from the book are in this post.

Material prepared by: Nadezhda Nazaryan

Grope for the truth

“Each of us lives three lives – public, private and secret. The secret life is the life of your soul, where your true motives, your most cherished desires are hidden. But this life is also the source of true greatness. If you have the courage to explore your secret life, you can honestly analyze your deepest motivations.

In order to explore your secret life, you need the courage to turn away from the social mirror – from the reflection that society demonstrates to a person, but which has little to do with his inner essence. We are accustomed to how we see ourselves in a social mirror, so we often try to avoid self-exploration. We waste time fantasizing and looking for rational explanations. But when our thoughts move in this direction, we almost feel neither integrity, nor reliability, nor security. “

Look ahead

“Too large a place in our life is occupied by memories and too little role in it is given to imagination – in our life there is a lot of what is and what was, but not enough of what may be. It’s like driving a car with nothing but a rearview mirror. “

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Jump out of the routine

“Are you too busy with comfortable, familiar, routine things, instead of doing what really matters? What is so good in your life that keeps you from achieving the best? Write in your journal everything that you value most in life, your top priorities. Then divide them into Priority A and Priority B. Make a plan according to which your best efforts will be directed towards achieving Priority A. “

“To understand what the world wants from you and what you can offer it, you need to answer three questions. – What does the world need? – What exactly am I good at? “How can I get better at what I enjoy doing and how can I respond to the real demands of my job?”

Life in abundance

“People with a deficit mindset are convinced that there is only one pie in the world and that if someone takes a piece, they will get less. This position leads to a win / lose mindset: if you win, I lose, and I can’t let that happen.

People with an abundant mind see the world differently. They believe that there are more than enough pies and that they can always count on one more piece. This mindset leads to a win / win mindset. “

Say yes to your mission

“Once you make a big change, you will find many compelling reasons to leave it as it is. However, there is one problem with all of these common excuses: deep down in your soul, you know that they are worthless. And you have to live with this knowledge. A real big challenge gives you the freedom to say no to so many things. You can experience tremendous psychological relief by taking on a large task and discarding trivial tasks. It is often difficult to say “no” to not very important issues, both in life and in business, if there is no convincing “yes” – a mission that you must serve, an ambitious task, a lofty goal, a legacy that you must leave behind. “

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Effect vs. Efficiency

“Efficiency is different from effect: effect refers to the result of the action, and efficiency refers to the process itself. It is quite effective to climb the ladder of success, but if the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall, there will be no effect. If you work effectively on false priorities, the result will be the same. “

The compass is more important than the clock

“To switch your thinking from a watch to a compass, you need to focus on priorities, not on schedules and plans. The watch can tell you when a meeting will start, but it cannot tell you if you should go to that meeting. What if this meeting leads you astray on the path you should follow? Every day, every week, check your true priorities, your true north, and then you won’t go off course. “

Let others win

“Self-respect allows you to win, but you must also allow others to win. If you are synergistic, if you combine your strength with the strength of others, you create better results in problem setting, solutions, strategic partnerships, customer-employee relationships. “

Live by conscience

“I have learned from my own experience that the only way to achieve the perfect balance between competence and character is to live by conscience, guided by the right principles. And if I show weakness of character or lack of competence, then usually I see the consequences of my mistakes after a few hours or days – the integrity of my life is violated. “

Create your scripts

“I am firmly convinced that a person is free to create his own scenarios and live in accordance with them – although many are afraid to admit it to themselves. At the same time, I understand what price will have to be paid for this: to fight, visualize the future, introduce positive attitudes into my life, make and keep promises until everything that makes up a human personality – feelings, thoughts, sensations and intuition – stops joining with a friend in conflict. “

Work for the future

“If your development focuses solely on performing your current functions, you will become too vulnerable to the forces in the market. Undoubtedly, you must be a competent specialist in your field of activity, but you must also be just a highly educated person. I believe that education needs to be devoted to an hour to two hours of work every day. One more day a month should be devoted to training, conceptually related not only to the current work, but also designed for the future. Both of these items are on my personal schedule. “

“Define a growth trajectory for yourself that will allow you to build on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. This implies reliable feedback. But don’t let what you learn about yourself weigh on you. The path of growth is difficult and long, but by embarking on it, you will better know your weaknesses and learn how to cope with them. “

Self-honesty – harmony with others

“To improve relationships, don’t wait for others to change and don’t look for easy ways. To begin with, be honest with yourself: the roots of problems should be found in character, and there is also a solution. Build your personality traits and relationships on a solid foundation of principles. How you relate to yourself determines how you relate to others. The ability to find a common language with other people comes from the ability to live in harmony with oneself. “

“Understand and accept the fact that other people need love, understanding and empathy as you need them.”

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